the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
