Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
