i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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