Do you still have your period?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
