why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
