She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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