I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
