people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize