3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
