Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
