she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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