People with herpes should wear stickers.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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