Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It's Friday. Sex?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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