:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
