dude i'm inner monologue high
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
