I hate all girls vehemently.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
two words...techno handjob
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
