I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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