plz talk dirty to me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
