Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
