I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize