I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
