I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just found puke in my bra..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
