If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
NoShamevember. You game?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I want a musical about memes.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
