what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She's the barista slut.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
