i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
