when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
