Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
