Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
