Got a toothbrush?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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