so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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