oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't think brook has ever known best
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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