You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She bit a glass in half.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
