i just made my gag reflex go away.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
