I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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