He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
