We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
