oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
