i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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