okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
