I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
