I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
