i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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