So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
