Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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