Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
