I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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