Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
