i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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