I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
