I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
