So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
