I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize