I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
