i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's blow job season.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize