His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
