The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
