I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
