I don't think brook has ever known best
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
