She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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