I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
