porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
